Be who you want to be. No one else.

I’m at Cafe Petra right now in the city, the rainy, cold city. The city of San Francisco. Oh how I do not miss your cold weather, but some how coming here it’s relaxing :) How I love being approached by the bums, the grimy ones, you know the beggars. They LOVE just putting you on blast and saying how they are hungry and how can I not feed them. BITCH I’m just as broke as your ass, if not even more so. I am in desperate need of that thing called a job. Money goes by fast, my credit card has never been so high before in my life. Well, yeah it never has at least THIS fast. Oh well. Someone will hire me, hopefully by my birthday.

I turn 25 in exactly one month from today. When I was 18, I definitely didn’t think I would be here that’s for sure. Sitting next to my boyfriend in a coffee shop just reading, not really worrying about life at the moment. But me, oh me, I am stressed beyond you can ever imagine. Run-a-wayers. Haha oldies.

Anyways I don’t really know what I’m writing. But I need to go home. I have a photo shoot that I need to process, it will be done by Saturday, I think. alskdjflaksdjf;lkasdjflskjdf;laskjflksdjflkasdjfkls This is my life. YEE. Anyways back to reality. What is reality again?

My life is constantly going off of lists and priorities. I’m taking a break. I don’t know how long but I am. Who cares where you live, where you came from, what you own, where you work at, who you roll with. At the end of the day, if YOU’RE NOT HAPPY, you can’t fake that funk. Seriously. I don’t know I’ve just been realizing so many things. I’m more hard on myself than anyone. I thought I would be in a different position in life but life has took a detour. So what do you do when you don’t like where you’re at? Find something else to occupy your time? Go on a journey across country? Find that spark that you’re looking for.

I don’t know what’s missing. I really don’t. The old me would take a week vacation somewhere I’ve never been, and refuel and get back to where I needed to be. But this time it’s different. I have a significant other I need to think about and sometimes priorities change. I have changed. And more is going to change. Don’t you hate change sometimes? I know I over used “change” but it’s what I’m going through right now.

Terms and conditions of life: unknown. Live it like it’s your last day right? People swear they live by that, I have never ONCE met a person that was living their life like it’s their last. I know I’ve used that quote before, but how much shit have you pushed back for tomorrow, or even like next week or something? We are only human…

February 25 couldn’t come any faster. I’m getting the iPhone 4. I don’t think I can wait until April, or summer for the iPhone 5. I do not need an HD phone, no thank you.

Here’s the list that I have created about a week or two ago… I’ll definitely be working on it.

Before I turn halfie to 50:

- Go camping near the beach or lake
- Catch a fish
- Take 1000 pictures
- 100% clean upstairs
- Go to a drive-in movie (DONE!)
- A GOOD valentines day <3
- Train and run for a 5K
- Finish 3 scrapbooks
- Read 10-15 books
- Have a new job
- Get as close to the Hollywood sign as I can
- Take a cooking class
- Have a NICE 4-6 course dinner that’s heaven in my mouth
- Lose 15 pounds

Well well well there goes another list eh? Haha My knee has been bugging me lately so I’ve been swimming. Today’s the day that I hit the 100 lap mark. I just started last week okay, so be nice. By the end of the month I’m hoping to be able to do 150 with no complaints. Anyways I’m off to run errands, complete things, etc, etc.